Struggle
by imizthebus
Summary: Cammie has been reunited with her brother an mother after 5 years under unfortunate circumstances. She soon begins to struggle with her own thoughts and adapting. She cannot stop blaming herself for what had happened. Will she find a true home? True happiness? True love? True friendship?
1. Chapter 1

5 years.

That's how long it's been since I've seen my mother, and my brother.

And honestly, I can't even tell you why. I guess the easy answer to that question it my parents. I'd like to say the fell out of love, but by the end, it was like they never knew each other in the first place.

I mean, maybe if I was younger it wouldve been easier? Easier to move on and to accept. But i didn't just loose my home, i lost my mother and my brother.

Grant was my bestfriend, I mean we had spent practically every minute of every day together since we were born. I didn't know any different to him. He was twin, and that bond is unbreakable. Accept they broke it. My parents.

I've never been aloud to contact either my mother or my brother. Dad wouldn't allow that. For five years I have felt a painfull longing, emptiness without Grant. I truly need him. And when things started getting bad with dad, I acted, really fucking well if I'm honest. I mean I fooled everyone into believing I was fine, everything was fine.

And then Josh, even after what happened with him i acted. It had become a way of life. And i guess it still is.

Dad is in rehab now, i know i should've called them earlier, I don't know, maybe I was in denial about it, I know it's my fault. I should've done more.

I feel guilty, not only for that. But because I'm happy he's in rehab. I am happy that he's away struggling on his own. Because it means I have no other choice that to go and live with my mom and Grant. And I need it. I need to see them.

So now, I'm sitting in a pretty mediocre taxi, the smells stale, driving down the charming streets of Roseville, Virginia on the way to see them.

My thoughts are rattling around inside my head, a pounding headache on confusion.

I'm scared. They don't know I'm coming. I had this irrational fear that if I told them they'd reject me. Only I'm still unsure how irrational it is. Do they miss me? Or remember me?

I was torn away from my thoughts when the driver said;

"Here we are darlin" he sighed, in a kind but tired tone. I swallowed a lump I was unaware had formed in my throat as I climbed about the door. For a moment I stared at the house before me, studying it. The house was large, white and had vines of ivy clinging to the walls. Beautiful.

The front lawn was beautifully green, with plant pots growing scenic flowers. This house screamed my mother.

I turned back to see the driver had taken my suitcases out, I was never that materialistic so I only had 2 large suitcases and my backpack. I thanked him and he drove off.

Leaving me there. I breathed sharply as I walked up the drive and to the door. My fingers hovered over the doorbell. And then I pushed it. It was done.

The door quickly opened, and a girl with dark raven hair and beaming blue eyes looked at me as she said;

"Hey..." she trailed off as she looked at my bags. "Who are you?" She finished.

I struggled to find words, had I got the right address?

"Macey who is it?" Someone yelled from inside.

"I don't know, some girl" she called back.

"I'm sorry I think I got the wrong address" I suddenly spoke suprising myself.

I heard multiple footsteps approaching from inside as I went to grab my bags, but then he spoke.

"Cammie?" It was barely a whisper, but as I looked up, his expression matched my own. He looked exactly the same, of course grown up and matured, but still the same old Grant.

I dropped the bags as i pushed past the girl and into his arms. I began to sob and I felt him sobbing against me. After what felt like a minute her pulled back and dried his eyes. He still looked just as shocked as before, his hand cradled my face and he smiled. He was happy and so was I as began smiling. We hugged each other again. We were both so emotional. I felt so indescribably full.

I pulled back slowly and said

"Hi." And giggled the tiniest bit, of glee. He laughed back and said "Hi." Slowley.

I knew I was going to see him, the the shock was still so overwhelming.

I then noticed we had an audience, who all had confusion stamped across there faces, I whispered Grant's name, suddenly feeling a wave of self consciousness. He immediately picked up on what I was implying and he said.

"Um guys, do you think we can do movie night another time?" While he tightened his grip around me, as if to keep from losing me again.

"Who the bloody hell is this?" A dark skinned girl blurted out.

"Yeah dude, what the fuck just happened?" Another guy said.

There were 3 girls and 3 guys stood there. Grant just rubbed his eyes, not knowing where to start. And he said;

"Look I'll explain another time, right now i really just need to be with Cammie" his voice broke as he said my name, as if it were dusty, and hadn't been used in along time.

"So please, leave" he finished, tearfully. His friends flashed with sympathy and the filed out, staring at me, and patting Grant's arm.

When the door shut we looked at each other and he picked me up, hugging me tightly.

A while later, we were sat on the couch in his front room when he tells me,

"God I've missed you so much, I can't believe you're here. But what are you doing here? And wheres dad?" He questioned.

The two dreaded question, both inevitable. Here goes, I thought.

"Um, a couple months after mom and dad split, dad got really depressed" I struggled with every word.

"He was really bad, I didn't know what to do, he wouldn't talk to me. He would just sit in his chair. He barely ate, I became really worried, it went on for a while." I felt myself begin to hyperventilate.

"And then one day, he just wast there, and I freaked out, I was so scared, but he came home, and he reaked of beer, but I didn't care, because he had moved" I winced and began picking at my nails.

"He kept leaving, and then coming back, and I didn't do anything because he'd get so angry if I said anythin-"

Grant then interrupted me, "Did he hurt you?" He demanded, getting angry.

"No!" I insisted. "I mean, he didn't mean to, and it only happened when he was drunk, I swear." Grant was enraged, I so I held his hand in reassurance that I was okay.

"And then he stopped spelling of beer so I thought he got better, you know, but, um" I struggled.

"Hey, shh" he hushed at me gentley.

"I came home from school one day, and he was passed out on the floor, but he didn't stink, I sear h his pockets and found pills." I cried.

"I don't know why I didn't do something, I was so angry, and confused. And it kept happening , until" I stopped, my throat felt tight.

"He, he, um, overdosed" i sobbed.

Grant fell back against the couch, he hesitated as he said "is he okay?"

"Yes, um, I used some money had saved to send him to rehab" I let out, "but it meant that I had to come here for a bit, if that I okay?" I questioned, not wanting to know the answer.

Grant was in shock, he phoned was blowing up across the room, most likely all his friends wondering who the fuck I am.

"What no of course cammie, I'm just struggling to process is all, you're my sister, I've never been happier than right know. It's just alot honestly."

We talked for a while longer, he told me there was a spare room I could have and that mom would be back home shortly. When she arrived it was pretty much the same process that I'd had with Grant.

I felt so happy to see them.

A little while later they took me upstairs to show me the spare room, which I guess would be mine.

It was a fairly large room with a large bay window seat on one wall. The room had white walls with a double bed in the centre, the bed had a white, rustic metal frame that I loved and colourful accents dotted the room. There was two doors opposite, I was told one was an en suite and the other was a wardrobe. I didn't know how long I'd be here, but I loved it.

I was tired so grant brought my bags up and I opened one up to pull out some comfy clothes to sleep in. It was one of dad's shirts, I could smell him on it as I inhaled. As soon as I climbed into the sheets, I blacked out into an oblivious slumber.

 _ **Please leave a review and let me know what you think. XXX**_


	2. Chapter 2

I had been awake for a little over 2 hours now, or so the alarm clock on the side table told me. But I guess that what you an expect when you can't close your windows or curtains. I know to alot of people that may seem weird. But even in the coldest weather, or the rain, I need to keep them open.

And honestly, I can't really explain why. But it's like, everytime they're closed, or the curtains are drawn, and overwhelming sense of panic and anxiety overtakes me. It's like I can't breath, the room is no longer a room, it's a cell. Dark and stuffy.

It wasnt always that way, but with dad, our little apartment was so tight, and stuffy, and always dirty and cramped. I tried so hard to keep it clean, but when you never have hot water or cleaning products it's hard.

I would always feel so enclosed and imprisoned there, so when I went into my room, and shut the door, I would open my windows. I would never shut them, because it felt like I wasnt trapped anymore, like I had a way out. I would only leave my room and venture out into the derelict area if I had to, for school or to help clean dad up. But when I starting skipping school all the time as a result of what happened with my so called friends, I would just stay in there constantly, and look out. Because I forgot about it all in there, I was safe and free.

Grant had been pacing outside my room for a while now, and I could tell it was him, as i had heard mom leave for work earlier that morning. He kept peeking in, whether it was to see if I was awake or to see if I was still here I was unsure of. I mean, it was all so surreal, we never thought we'd see each other again, but here we are. And I can't believe it. But I am also afraid he wants to talk to me, that he has thought about everything and wants me leave, or hates me. I don't know, I never know if my thoughts are irrational, as for so long I haven't had anyone to talk to about them.

Dreading the encounter, I quickly jumped out the bed and ran into the ensuite, I heard him about to enter the spare room door but he he heard the shower turn on and walked away. I jumped in, turned the hot water on full. It had been long since I'd had a hot shower. I mean, when your dad blows all his money or drugs and alcohol instead of paying the hot water bill that's what happens.

I just stood ther for a few minutes, letting the scolding water run down my body. I wanted to burn these stupid fears and thoughts away, but the water wasnt enough, so I began scrubbing, trying to wash it away. It was stubborn as ever though. So I gave up.

When I finished, I cautiously stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. I brushed my teeth and towel dried my hair before leaving the room. I put on some fresh sweats out of my suitcase, and took a deep breath as I left the room. I made my way down the stairs softly and followed the noise of Grant humming and the scent of fresh toast to the kitchen.

"Morning" I blurted. He jumped as he turned around to face me,

"Hey," he hesitated, "hi, um, did you sleep okay?" He enquired.

"Yeah I did, thanks" i responded. I then looked down at the food on the counter, he had fried some eggs and made some toast, and I whispered, "wow".

"Yeah, um I would've made your favourite, blueberry pancakes. But we, uh, ran out of ingredients so I hope this is okay-" I interrupted him, "Grant I haven't had a breakfast cooked for me in years, dont be silly, this is amazing. Thank you." He smiled at that.

We sat down at the breakfast bar that overlooked the garden. A garden so picturesque, a huge willow tree at the bottom, with flowers, and a pond. There were birds on the bird feeder chirping, it was beautiful. I thought back to the shower, why was I so worried?

I was about to say something about the garden, but Grant got there first when he suddenly asked;

"Cammie, how long are you going to be here for?" And there it was, I remembered why I was scared. I gulped as I hardened my face and slowley said,

"I dont know, uhh, but I can always go and stay with Abby-"

"What no!" He interrupted, realisation plastered on his face. "That's not what I meant, at all. Its just, when dad is out of rehab, are you going to back to him, because I dont think I can deal with you going back there, especially knowing what he's done, God I hate him. And I'm so angry at myself and at mom, for leaving you there. And losing you again, I can't go through that."

I sighed, "look, if I'm honest, I dont know. But I do know that I've never been happier than right now, with you. So let's just enjoy it. Because I can't do it again either. And it's not your fault, I know it wasnt him, it was the drugs. Please don't be mad at yourself." I put my arm around his shoulder as an attempt of reassurance.

My expression changed as I remembered it was a weekday. "Grant, shouldnt you be in school? It's a Thursday." I asked.

"Oh, yeah, only I just got my sister back after 5 years. It's a big thing, as well as an adjustment, so mom called me in sick for the rest of the week. She's also appealed for emergency acceptance into Roseville High. I think they'll go for it because you're my sister. Otherwise they normally have a waiting list." He told me.

"Oh fair enough, what are you friends going to think?" I asked. He grumbled.

"Honestly I dont know, don't even know how I'm going to explain it to them. I never told any of them about you. It's just, it was hard enough, and I just figured if I didn't tell anyone I had a twin, it would be easier to move on. I never thought I would see you again." He seemed ashamed and he finished. I took his hand and gave him a small smile and I said;

"Grant, I did the same, you dont have to worry. I get it."

We finished our breakfast in conversation. And he told me that he was going to take me around town today, show me all the good spots. So with that I made my way back upstairs to change.

After rummaging through my cases I pulled out my blue denim skirt, and paired it with a band tee that I tucked in. I slid my black doc martens on. I still rememberedthe day I bought them. I had been saving up for them for months so that I could them for myself for my birthday, dad never remembered, and when i started getting really good money, i would save most of it for my future, but i would always allow myself to buy little things, just for a sense of normality.

I looked at myself in the mirror, my hair was dry now and in its natural wavy state. Satisfied with my appearance, which was easy for me, I never really cared for it, I left the room and made my way back to Grant.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Uh yeah, you were quick" he laughed.

"Why do you seem surprised?" I questions, confused,

"Well most of the girls I know take forever to be honest." he told me,

"Ohh, well I'm not most girls now am I Grant?" We laughed and made our way to the car.

I connected my spotify to the car and began blasting the dixie chicks. One thing about Grant not many people know, he has a weakness for country music. We began laughing and singing along to the familiar lyrics together. I was engrossed in the scenic streets that we drove through. They were so different to Washington, at least, the area i had lived in.

We pulled up in town and he told me he wanted to show me the park, so went walking around as he told me about his friends, and his life here.

I learnt that the girl who opened the door for me was named Macey, the dark skinned girl was Bex, who had been dating Grant for a little under a year and the other, shyer girl who didn't say anything the previous night was Liz.

I learnt that the guys who were there were Zach, Jonas and Nick. He told me all about them, he spoke so fondly about them individually, I felt happiness for him.

"What about you, anyone you're missing from Washington?" He asked.

"There would've been, but I guess you never really know people until something bad happens, and you see who's really there for you." I told him, with a small smile. I felt his comforting arm snake around me, making me feel warm. And I knew what he was silently saying, he always would be.

After a while of walking we decided to get lunch, we ended up getting burgers from a food truck. And for a food truck, they we're suprisingly good. As the afternoon progressed he took me around the town showing me the good spots.

I felt truly hopeful, for the first time in a very long time. About my new life here, temporary or not. He took me to the cafe that was opposite where we parked our car. We sat in, with our drinks.

He had ordered a coffee, whilst I had my chai latte. We spoke more, about anything and everything. He then began showing me photos and we compared things.

As he did this, I suddenly got emotional as I looked at him and said,

"God I missed you so much." He smiled as he repeated those words to me.

"I love you Cammie" he spoke. "I love you too." I said.

I dont know how long we were in there but we were pulled out of our moment when Grant's friend walked over from the queue, when he heard us. And he said "Hey, Grant. You weren't in school today?" There was a question behind the question. Grant ignored the double meaning and just said "Uh, yeah. I was showing Cammie around. I wont be in tomorrow either."

The boy looked at me and nodded, so I smiled. I wont lie, he was very good looking. Endless green eyes, and dark hair. And then he spoke, this time aiming his words at me.

"Hey, I'm Zach." I replied with a simple "hey" before he said,

"Um, well the others are on there way in if you want to sit together?"

Grant's was quick to reply with, "Sorry, but we were just leaving, I'll see you soon man". And with that, he stood and waited for me to follow him.

I felt it was only polite to say, "It was nice meeting you." Before I left.

When we arrived home Grant told me mom would be working late tonight, so I suggested we attempted cooking together. We tried for a very long time, we went from messing about to trying to be serious and back many times. But to be honest neither of us really knew what we were doing, and it showed, as you could literally taste the cluelessness in the food.

"Do you want to order a pizza?" I suggested, still laughing from the failed pasta dish we had attempted.

"Hell yeah, let's do it!" He exclaimed.

After the pizza had come and we had eaten in, we began watching movies together. Luckily for him I love action and sci-fi movies so i let him choose. I must've fallen asleep during the movie, because I stirred slightly as he carried me up to the spare room and layed me down. I feared he was going to shut the windows but he chose not to. As if he got a sense he shouldnt. And he left as I fell asleep.

I woke up early the next morning so decided to go downstairs, I noticed the mess from last night still hadn't been cleared up. Overpowering anxiety kicked in as I rushed to clean it. I couldn't stand it. I was not about to let this place turn into the apartment. I wouldn't stop until it was spotless, but it's like the surfaces were resisting me, my arming began aching, but I didn't stop. I knew i looked hysterical, but it was like my mind overtook.

"Cammie? What are you doing?" Grant spoke, he looked worried.

"What? I'm just trying to get this clean?" I looked at the surfaces, they were shiny.

"It is clean Cammie" he told me when I continued. "It is now" I corrected as my voice shook, he was still giving me a funny look. He walked over and took the cleaning products from my hands as they shook. I hated it, he must've thought I was crazy.

But he didn't say anything, which I was grateful for and instead just told me that;

"The school got in contact earlier, they said they want us to go in to finalise everything and you can start on Monday" he looked happy, and I said, "Okay, let's do that today then".

I told him I was going to get ready as i ran up the stairs and in the ensuite in the spare room. And began taking deep breaths. I splashed my face with water as i calmed down.

 **Proof reading has been noted, I hope you enjoyed. Feel free to review with your opinions. XXX**


	3. Chapter 3

I opened the door from the ensuite feeling better, after a quick glance out the window, I noticed the sky was considerably greyer than yesterday. And I cooler draft blew through my windows. So I settled on my paper bag mom jeans and a green cropped turtleneck with my white chunky ankle boots. I then pulled my hair up into a pony tail. When I was finished, I grabbed my phone and went to meet Grant.

He was already waiting when I got there,

"Let's go, and can we get breakfast on the way? I'm starving." I said casually, quickly forgetting the events of the morning. He laughed and nodded, knowingly.

We drove up to that same cafe we saw Zach in the previous day, I definitely liked the vibe in there. And it was after the rush hour of before before/school coffees, so it wasnt too crowded. Grant chose the window seat, simply for the view of the park.

A women can over and asked what she could get for us, I was about to speak when Grant ordered for me;

"Um, she ill have a bacon bagel and orange juice, and shell have French toast and cranberry juice please. Thanks"

The women nodded as she took the order away. I looked at Grant, with questioning eyes. He simply shrugged as he said,

"For some unknown reason they dont do blueberry pancakes, and I know you love French toast" he looked nostalgic as he finished, "or at least you used too."

I smiled, "no I still do, I just haven't had it in so many years I guess I forgot. Thanks."

We became engrossed in our conversation for what seemed like hours, our food came and went and it was nearing midday when we left to get to the school.

As we drove I suddenly became very anxious, the whole idea of starting at a new school terrified me. And I knew I would get questions about me and Grant. Grant must've sensed my anxiety and he reach over placing his large hand over my shaking ones.

"Its just the paper work today, dont worry." And as I looked over towards him, I relaxed, subconsciously reminding myself that even on Monday, I would have him by my side.

As we pulled up past the school, I noticed how friendly it looked. My old school had harsh walls, that hissed nasty words at you, and constantly towered over you. That place was so intimidating, but Roseville High seems very warm. As we walked to reception, people who were on there lunch break noticed us. They stare, perhaps wondering who the girl with Grant was, I dont blame them. I dont even know who I am sometimes.

Grant notices my hesitation at the looks, and simply pulls me forward until we enter the reception.

"Hey, were here to sort out the paper work for my sisters transfer. Her names Cameron Morgon." Grant told the small, ginger lady behind the desk. She began typing and asked us to take a seat in the waiting room.

Maybe an hour or so later, we were all done.

"Happy?" Grant question. I smiled widely, "very."

Macey was walking out of her class as we walked closer to the exit. She noticed us and narrowed her eyes, making a beeline toward us.

"Hey guys, what are you doing here?" She asked curiously. Her eyes telling me she wanted to know more, but equally as untelling. She didn't look too warm either.

"Oh hey, Mace, yeah were just here to finalise some paperwork for Cammie to start here on Monday." Grant told her.

"Ohh, so this is a permanent situation." She replied, in kind of a bitchy way to be honest, I wasnt expecting it.

I interjected, "Well we dont know that for sure, but hopefully." I replied politely, knowing there was no use being snarky back. I added a smile at the end. I looked at Grant, he too was giving Macey a funny look.

"Anyway, I should go.." she said, she turned to Grant and said, "and you, should called Bex." Before strutting down the hallway.

I tuned to Grant, "What was that about?". I looked back, confusion obvious in his eyes, "I dont know."

"She's right about Bex though. She's you're girlfriend, she's probably really worried about you." I told him and we left. I think he knew it too.

The remainder of the weekend flew by, Grant and I spent every moment together. Doing anything, and everything, playing air hockey, watched movies, went walking. Just anything we could do together.

By Sunday evening I was growing nervous. When we sat down for dinner, Grant's phone pinged.

"Who is it?" I asked, I was expecting it too be one of his friends, since Thursday afternoon they hadn't been texting him as much. Which was right after I'd met Zach, I guess he told them to give Grant some space or something. And then even less after the encounter with Macey in school.

"Oh, its Nick. He just wants to know if I'll be in tomorrow. I dont want to go back Cammie, they wont understand. No one will." He told me, sadly.

"Hey, I understand. We've got each other. And of course they wont understand. They've probably never experienced being reunited with there twin after 5 years because there dad is in rehab." I said.

He laughed at how crazy it sounded. "Anyway, I'm gonna take a shower and get an early night. I'm tired and I dont want to look completely dead." I kissed his forehead and made my way up towards the spare bedroom.

I didn't know if I'd ever stop calling it that, I mean it wasnt mine, and I didn't know how permanent this was. But I kept having to remind myself that this isn't forever. As much as I want it to be. It's not.

After my steaming hot shower, I felt calm, so I took my time rubbing moisturiser and body lotions on my body, as an extra relaxation attempt.

My alarm was blaring the next morning. And however much I dreaded getting out of bed, the light blasting through the windows aided my awakening.

As it was so sunny, I decided to dress myself in my denim frill hem mini dress. I added my doc martens boots and paired it with a brown leather tote bag. Wich was close to empty since I hadn't picked up any books yet. When I got downstairs to the kitchen, it became apparent that Grant wasnt awake yet, so I decided to make us some breakfast.

After looking throught the pantry, I settled of croissants and began to heat them up for the two of us.

I poured glasses of orange juice for him and I and placed them onto the breakfast bar. Shortley after I heard him walking down the staircase right as the croissants were finished.

"Perfect timing," I told him as I plated up.

"Wow, thanks sis" he spoke tiredly as he sat down and began to eat. Not long after I went to check my appearance. I guess I felt more self conscious than usual. My hair was down, in its natural dirty blonde waves. I questioned applying makeup but decided I was too lazy. I dont know why it suddenly mattered. But it I'd.

It was nearing the start of school, so we locked up and left the house. I genuinely believed I'd never get over the stunning scenery of Roseville.

 **Thanks for the reviews. Just to let you all know, I'll mostly be uploading on weekends as school is pretty stressful currently, especially with my GCSEs coming up. I might be able to get some written during the week, but most likely not. Anyway, feel free to review or leave comments and suggestions. XXX**


	4. Chapter 4

Grant parked the car towards the edge of the lot, and climbed out of his side, before walking around the car and opening my door. I stared my shaking fingers for a few moments before taking the plunge and climbing out myself.

"Okay so first we'll get your class schedule and then I'll take you to your home room. You can ask someone to show you to your first class if that's alright?" He told me. He looked at me expectantly as I nodded and replied,

"Yeah, thank you" quietly.

With his lead, we began to make our way towards the doors of the school. I could feel everyone staring at us, at me. Even though I felt the farthest thing from it, I pastered my brave and confident face on.

After we had collected my class schedule, Grant studied it. "Uh, we have a couple classes together, you're mostly in AP classes. I thought you said you skipped school alot?" He asked me.

"Uh, yeah I did. But I still studied at home and went in for exams and stuff. I mean I wasnt going to throw my entire future away, I'm not stupid. " I responded awkwardly. I couldn't face going to school, after what had happened, but I still knew education was essential. So I taught myself the curriculums online and out of books, and made sure I showed up for exams. I mean, clearly it worked. He nodded in understanding.

The bell rang loudly and Grant began to walk me to my home room. "Uh, Bex, Liz and Macey are in this home room. Maybe try and make friends with them? And I'm sure they'll help you find your way around".

"But Grant,-"

"I know, I know. I need to be the one to explain everything to them. I promise I'll do it at lunch." And he walked off, telling me I'd be fine.

I walked in after everyone had taken their seats and handed the teacher at the front the piece of paper in my hand. I wasnt sure what it was, but I had been instructed to give it to him by the lady at the desk. My guess was it was some sort of information or notice of my transfer.

"Hello," he said cheerfully. "A new face, wonderful!" He exclaimed, I smiled in return. He focused on the sheet for a moment before asking me, "So what shall I be calling you? Cameron, or do you prefer a nickname or anything?" He looked at me expectantly.

"Uh, just Cammie" I told him.

"Perfect, welcome, just Cammie", I cringed at the attempted joke as I turned to look for a seat. Ignoring people's curious eyes i noticed Macey, sat on a table with the other two girls. There was a spare seat. I made a beeline and sat down. They all looked up at me.

"Hey guys, i dont know if you remember me?" I hesitated, but none of them said anything. I gulped as i asked, "is it cool if i sit here?".

They all turned to each other and continued there conversation. I didn't know what to do, I mean, i was shocked. I got the obvious message so I moved to sit on an empty table towards the back, and plugged in my earphones. Still processing what had happened. I didn't understand it.

After homeroom, I noticed Bex and Macey said goodbye to Liz, as they walked off too their lesson. So I hurried over to her before she left and I surprised myself when I suddenly said,

"Hey, um, Liz?" She turned around slowly and waited for me to continue.

"Uh I was wondering if you could tell me where my first class is?" I handed her the schedule as she reluctantly nodded.

"Uh, you've got AP history, with me actually. So let's go." I sighed relief as she handed back and followed her. After homeroom I didn't really know what to say, and she didn't seem willing to make an effort to talk to me. So when we reached the class, I chose to sit in the back again, where there was an empty spot. People kept turning around to me, staring. It made me feel uncomfortable, but my brave face was plastered as I looked above them towards the front of the classroom. I spent the hour focussing on my notes.

I then had English, which I was grateful to have Grant in. I sat with him and told him about homeroom. He looked confused as he emphasised that they were never usually bitchy. "They're probably just mad at me for airing them all these past few days, I'll sort it at lunch. Dont worry."

By the time lunch rolled around, I was feeling okay, because I hoped that once Grant explained it all. Everything would be fine. And I knew he wouldn't abandon me.

So when I got to the cafeteria and didn't see him at the table I had noticed all of his friends at, I sent a quick text, asking where he was. I grapped a bottle of water and an apple, I didn't have much of an appetite due to my growing nerves. But I decided that there was no point avoiding them all, I mean Grant's my brother, and they're his friends. So I made my way over and confidently said,

"Hey, uh, I'm Cammie. Im sure you remember me. Can I sit?" They all looked awkward and didn't know what to say. Suddenly I was angry, I didn't deserve this. I hadn't dont anything to any of them.

"Okay, whats your problem? I dont understand what I've done to you all for you to be so fucking rude?" That outburst even surprised me. But my anger didn't flutter.

Bex scoffed. "Are you kidding?" She said loudly as she stood up. "What do you expect? Us to to be all chummy with you. What, some slut shows up out of nowhere, and apparently means more to Grant than all of his friends. We were worried sick about him. But he was just getting cosy with you." The harsh words were like a slap in the face. But before I got a chance to respond Grant was by my side.

"What the fuck Bex? Dont talk to her like that." He shouted in my defence. "That was unbelievably unessecary, she's done fuck all."

Bex looked close to tears as she said, "What about you? What about what you've done. I thought you loved me. But the second she waltzed in you act as if we were nothing. Look, if you want to be with her. Then fine. But you should've just told, me. Instead of leaving me hanging."

Grant looked unbelievably confused. He didn't understand what she had just said. But I did. It all made sense, the dirty looks, the bitchy vibes, the airing me. They though me and Grant were together. They all did.

"Oh my God. Oh my God, wait. You think, you think-" the words were difficult to get out. They made me feel sick. Grant still didn't understand.

"What?" He asked.

"Grant, you idiot, they all think were together!" I told him.

"What?" He whispered, processing what I had told him.

What? No! Why would you even think that? Where did you even get that idea from? I dont understand." Grant was stuttering, he was so confused.

Bex scoffed again, "Oh, dont even try to deny it. Zach heard you two at the cafe, saying how much you'd missed each other, how much you love each other. Not to mention, as soon as she shows up, you ignore us all. You have made no effort to talk to me in days! Or any of us."

"No, Bex. You dont understand. You've seriously got it wrong. Honestly you all have." I said, no longer angry, I sympathised with her. Of course she thought that. It made sense for her to think that.

"No, we.. uh, Grant and I.. we, we're-"

Grant interrupted and finished for me.

"Cammie's my sister, she's my twin sister." He spat out.

They didn't look like they believed us for a second.

"Seriously, that's the best you can come up with? Grant weve known you 5 years. You've never mentioned having a sister. You've always been an only child. You seriously think were going to believe you now?" Macey intercepted.

Granted sighed, he expected the disbelief. "I know, it's really complicated. But I swear, I'm telling the truth. I get that you dont believe me right now, but you dont understand. Look please, just let me explain. " He pleaded.

"Please, he's telling the truth, just hear him out." I added.

"I'm all ears." This voice came from Zach, and Nick next to him nodded and said,

"Look I'm really fucking confused, man. I need an explanation." The others nodded and Bex, who was still upset. Sat down and said, "Fine."

Grant sighed as we both sat down opposite them.

 **Well, there it is. I hope you liked it. Thank you for all the support :) feel free to review. XXX**


	5. Chapter 5

"Cammie and I are twins, and up until 5 years ago we all lived together. We were a family. But then mom and dad got a divorce, and me and mom moved here, to Roseville. And Cammie and our father moved to Washington." He started,

"Uh, the divorce was pretty nasty. And Cammie and I, we were forbidden to see each other. Or even contact each other. I guess they wanted new, and separate lives for themselves and us." He continued. He looked over at me,

"And, none of you will understand how hard that was for us. I mean we spent every second together up until then, and suddenly, we couldn't even talk on the phone. There was no way for us to get in contact." A silent tear fell from his eye.

"Dude, I can't imagine. But why'd you never tell us about her? Why have we never heard anything about her, if she's such a huge part of your life?" Question Jonas. They were all reasonable questions.

Grant's eyes focussed on me, as he answered hesitantly,

"Talking about Cammie, heck, even thinking about her, hurt so much. I couldn't handle that kind of loss. So, I guess I just pushed it away. Pretended that I was an only child, because it made it easier to handle. I mean, I never thought I would ever see her again, ever. Not until last week anyway."

"Oh my God, I'm so stupid. Im sorry Cammie, for how we were today." Bex apologised.

"What? No, you have nothing to be sorry for. I totally understand why you thought what you did. If I was in your position, I probably would have thought the same. Honestly it's fine." I smiled at her.

Grant turned around and took her hand. "Hey I'm so sorry, I should've called you, I should've called you all." He said to them all.

"I, I just- it was such a shock. I was trying to process it. But I'm sorry, you guys." He told them all.

That was then followed by his friends telling him,

"Hey, man. It's okay." And, "it's cool, we get it". Even though, there was no way they ever would.

Macey then spoke, she asked, "If you guys weren't aloud to see each other or whatever, why are you here now?" This was aimed at me.

"Uh, I guess I just decided I didn't want to live like that anymore, separated from the people that I love. And when i finally found their address and had the money to get here, there wasnt really anything holding me back. But I mostly just missed him, and mom of course. So yeah." I looked at him as we exchanged heartfelt smiles.

It wasnt a lie, everything I told her was true. I just failed to bring up the fact that my dad was in rehab, and everything that I'd been throught up until the point I'd left, and came here.

"How about we all do something tonight, so you guys can get to know Cammie a bit more?" Grant suggested. Everyone agreed, so with that we continued general conversation.

Shortly after, the bell rang. Signalling us to all go to our classes.

I was asked the class I had, so I pulled out the schedule that had proven vital throughout the day. I scanned over it for a moment before telling them;

" AP History, with Jefferson." I look up as Zach made his was towards me, "Me too, I'll walk you if you like?" He said smoothly, before walking off. I quickely grabbed my stuff. I couldn't tell you why, but I felt especially curious towards Zach. I caught up with him and began to walk beside him.

"So how long are you here for?" He asked, looking down towards me. I wasnt sure whether he was asking in a "when are you leaving way" so I avoided the eye contact as I awkwardly stammered a reply.

"Honestly? I dont know. For a little while I guess?" I was almost asking myself that same question. "I really like it here though, how long have you lived here" I continued.

"Really? It all seems so plain to me. I've lived here my whole life basically. Dont get me wrong, its home, but I can't wait to get out." He told me, which I found extremely interesting, It felt like that for me too, however it was never really "home".

"I dont know, probably sounds stupid." He laughed, probably confused about why he'd told me that.

"No I get it, that's how I felt in Washington, I wanted out for so long." I spoke.

"Really? Why? Big city, sounds amazing." He questioned.

"No one really to share it with, and the whole 'big city' fantasy doesn't last long, you get bored of it. Eventually sick of it to be honest. I guess that's why I like it here so much. It's so different and fresh." I told him as we walked through the doors of the classroom and he led me to the back where two free seats beckoned us. I wasnt entirely sure if it was an invitation so I asked, "alright if I sit here?"

I hoped hed say yes, I didn't really have the energy to start the whole introduction process again with other people.

I was thankful when he nodded. "Watch," he told me. "3..2..1" right as he said one, a tall, lanky male slouched through the door whilst he murmured a greeting.

"Every single time. On the dot, without fail." He whispered. We both chuckled.

Throughout the whole of that class we talked, well whispered. He asked me questions about Washington, and I asked him questions about here, and himself.

I learnt he had a younger sister, and that he only lived with her, and his father.

"No, she left us when I was 7 or something." He shrugged, "shes got a new family in North Carolina now." He told me. I sympathise, I could tell it bothered him, no matter how hard he attempted a convincing carelessness towards the situation. But we said no more about it.

"Anyway we really should probably focus and learn some of this?" He laughed.

"I already know all this, it was on the syllabus at my old school. I still have all the notes, I'll give them to you later if you like?" I offered.

"Yeah, thanks." He responded. I began feeling hopeful for this friendship, and for more I was soon to develop. We continued to talk until the bell rang. As we walked out of class, Jefferson didn't fail to remind us of the homework he was setting. I told zach we could do it together after given him the notes, considering I'd find it easy having done it previously.

We were in the heat of our conversation when we made our was to the parking lot. We walked towards Grant's car, where he was waiting, we we laughing as we approached.

"Well you two look like you're getting along." He said, I looked over at Zach, smile plastered on my face. We made eye contact as he smiled back at me.

We then climbed into the car, Zach got into the front seat and I occupied the seat behind him.

"So, what's the plan?" Zach asked Grant.

"Well the others are gonna meet us at my place, and were just going to hang I guess." Grant told us.

"Anyway, Cammie, how was your first day?" He asked me, I knew he was asking something much deeper, based on a how I actually felt mentally basis.

"Um, tiring?" I said, in a questioning tone. "I mean considering everything that happened, it was good." I told him. I knew he wasnt satisfied, but it's not like I could go into depth. Not with Zach around. I mean dont get me wrong, I really liked him, but there's a difference between that, and trusting people. Something, which I wasnt very open too.

I truly dont understand why people are so open to trust. It just leaves you vulnerable to be hurt by people. The only person I truly trust, is Grant. However, I dont trust the situation. I dont trust that it's going to be this way long term. And I trust that no matter what, Grant will never hurt me. Not like my mother and father did when they split us, not like my father did time and time again with his issues. Not like the 'friends' I'd had in Washington.

The song on the radio blasted through the car as we all thought to ourselves. We drove past the beautiful scenery once again, radiating peace and happiness. When the car pulled up at the house, we all got out and made our way into the house.

"I'm just going to get changed." I told them, I was never one for staying in my day clothes for long, I much preferred to wear comfy lounge wear. I slowly made my way up the stairs and down the hallway to the guest room. I took my clothes off, except my underpants and pulled a little white cami crop top over my head, along with some basic grey sweat pants. I debated a hoodie, but the house was fairly warm, so it felt unnecessary.

I grabbed my phone, chucked my hair up into a high, messy pony. And made my way back down stair. Where I could hear the others had begun to arrive.

 **That's chapter 5 for you all. I hope you like it. Please leave reviews to let me know your thoughts. Sorry for the delayed upload, I had 2 weeks of straight exams! XXX**


	6. Chapter6

The guys had begun to get comfy in the TV room. Feeling a familiar dry throat scratch as I swallowed, I decided a glass of water was in need. So I walk into the room, heads turned to face me as I asked everybody,

"Hey guys, do you want any drinks?".

Almost everyone nodded my way as I smiled and left the room. Not sure how i was going to carry everyone individual glasses i went for the safer option of large bottle of coke to pour into cups. I also chose a couple bottles of water from the fridge for myself and anyone else who wanted.

I looked at the stack of cups, and bottles and questioned how I could carry it in one go. Knowing it was too much effort to make trips. Almost as if reading my mind, Zach walked in behind me and announced himself,

"Hey, need any help?" He asked, leaning against the counter.

"Uh, sure. Thanks that would be great." I smiled at him. He nodded as he began gathering up the items.

"Should I get some snack as well?" I asked him, but interrupted before he got a chance to reply with my internal thoughts. "Obviously" I said to myself, he chuckled over the counter as I pulled some packets out of the pantry. I could feel curious eyes burning into my back as I did so.

Suddenly panicking I had stained my sweats, or started my period or something. But he didn't say anything, which I'm sure he would've if I had, so we made our way back to the others. He held open the doors for me and the group cheered as we arrived bearing the goods. After putting them all in the middle people began helping themselves. I greedily opened my water bottle and chugged down the entirety of it.

"Wow, I'd like to watch you handle your drink."Nick laughed at me, in shock.

I giggled back, knowing I could handle it very well. Before everything happened with my 'friends', we used to have little piss ups all the time, so drinking wasnt new to me. And of course I hated how my dad drank, because that's never the way it should be, but for a night out, or a party, it was great.

"Hell yeah you would!" I responded smugly, shrugging at there faces. "Anyone know when the next piss up is?" I asked out of curiosity.

Liz was the first to reply. "Uhmm, I'm not sure, people dont really have parts around now."

I rolled my eyes slowly, "I know but I asked when the next piss up is, not the next party." She looked confused at this.

"What do you mean? Aren't they the same?" She questioned.

"No of course not," I laughed, "a party someone throws for loads of people, a piss up is just a group of friends getting drunk at someones house or maybe a field or something. So like a piss up would just be us and maybe a few others, whereas a party would be the whole grade, understand?" I explained.

"Ohhh okay, well I've never really been drunk before," Liz told me, shyly. I couldnt help but smile bless her.

"That's okay, there's got to be a first time for everything. Right?" She smiled back.

"Well I'm down, whenever." Nick said, drawing my attention too him. The others nodded or voiced their agreement, and Zach suggested Friday night.

I hadn't even look and Grant, but I could tell something was up when he asked me to 'help him get more drinks', even though there was plenty on the coffee table.

When we walked into the kitchen I saw him clench his fists before he spoke,

"What are you doing?" He asked in as hasty voice.

"What do you mean what am I doing?" I asked genuinely confused as to why he was upset.

"Uh, do you seriously think trying to impress my friends by having a 'piss up' will work?" He accused.

"What? Grant that's not what I'm trying to do at all, it's just a bit of fun." I defended.

"A bit of fun? Are you joking?" He raised his voice, "what and you think our dad drinking is just 'a bit of fun' too?". I was shocked. I looked down, that was unfair.

"That's completely different and you know it." I said quietly, not looking up at him. He sighed, understanding. "Yeah I know, thats not what I meant. I'm sorry I just- I just dont know if it's such a good idea is all." He managed to say.

"Why would it not be a good idea? I know the difference you know? Between his drinking, and other drinking." I spat, annoyance evident in my tone.

We both turned around quickely as we heard a voice, coming from Zach, saying,

"You guys alright?"

Grant was quick to respond, as he told Zach,

"Uh yeah, I was just saying to Cammie that mom is away for the weekend so we should have it here."

I looked up in shock but when Zach turned to me smiling, I returned it.

"Seriously? Great." He responded. But I smiled, realising that of course, Grant understood where I was coming from.

Walking back into the room, I noticed the others had started a movie, one I'd seen before but couldn't remember the name of.

Grant moved to sit over next to Bex and she cuddled up to him, which was nice to see. I felt a tiny pang in my heart, knowing exactly what that felt like.

But also knowing how quickly that could change. Even though I knew Grant would never do to Bex what Josh did to me. It was so clear he loved her, something I was unsure Josh ever did me.

I sat myself on the other end and zach satdown close next to me. My heart rate sped up a little bit. It felt too close, I felt uncomfortable.

Zach seemed to have noticed and he shuffled away slightly. And suddenly I was so angry and annoyed at myself. Why can't I just grow the fuck up, it's just contact.

I hated that I couldn't relax, throughout the rest of the movie I felt tense, annoyed at myself for being the way I am.

But I also knew that there wouldn't be any point getting close to these people, because I couldn't handle a relationship, I couldn't ever fully trust them, I wouldn't let myself. Because I know what that would mean.

I looked around and noticed pretty much everyone had fallen asleep, except me and zach. It seemed as though Grant and Bex had gone upstairs a while ago because there spots were taken up with sleeping body's.

The room was plenty warm and so I didn't feel as though there was a need to get them blankets.

I stood up, Zachs eyes followed me,

"Uhh, I'm gonna go to bed", I told Zach. I didn't really know what to do, there wasn't room for him to sleep in here.

"Do you wanna come upstairs?" I regretted it immediately and began backtracking,

"Obviously not in that sense, uh I mean, there just isn't really any room for you here, and I thought maybe we could find somewhere upstairs for you and-"

He cut off my rambling and said "Cammie it's all good I know what you meant, and yeah, okay, if you're sure?"

I wasn't sure at all, but I'd already offered and there wasn't anywhere else for him to go. So I nodded and we made our way up the stairs.

I was staying in the spare room, so that meant there wasn't another spare bed.

We walked into the spare room and I told him, "Here you can sleep in the guest bed,"

He looked at me funny, "But this is your room isn't it?"

I felt awkward, "No not technically, I mean I'm staying here but it's not really my room yano. So you can sleep in this bed, okay?" I waited for this response, I looked up at him as he asked me;

"Yeah and where are you gonna sleep?" He asked me logically. I couldn't say with him. And there was no where else for me to sleep,

"oh I'll sleep on the floor" I smiled convincingly, he laughed slightly, "no you won't, just sleep in the bed with me, there's enough room for both of us." He said calmly,

I was silently panicking, I knew nothing would happen, and I felt stupid so I just nodded. It was the only real option because I could tell zach wasn't gonna let me sleep on the floor.

I went into the bathroom and started brushing my teeth, I knew I was being ridiculous, we were only sharing a bed. I'd done that with friends before.

Only he wasn't my friend.

I got out of the bathroom and zach came back from the main bathroom, having used a spare toothbrush that I assumed he'd left here many times before.

I was wearing sweats and a crop top, which were perfectly comfy so I'd didn't feel the need to change; but I decided to throw on a hoodie just as an extra layer, as I still felt quite bare.

We climbed into bed, both on our backs looking at the ceiling.

"Cammie I can sleep on the floor if you're uncomfortable." He said, I took me a moment to recognise it was compassion in his voice.

He rolled over to face me,

"No honestly I'm fine, and you won't get any sleep if you sleep on the floor" I said reassuringly.

"Okay, well just so you know, nothings gonna happen so you can calm down."

I felt even stupider, of course it wasn't, I knew that. I just didn't know why I was panicking.

"I know Zach, it's not you honestly. Let's just go to sleep" I told him as I closed my eyes.

I heard his steady breathing and after a while I could tell he was asleep. I imitated his breathing pattern and fell asleep in no time.


End file.
